Zeroes Unlimited

Zeroes Unlimited is a videogame humor website run by Zartan, focusing on obscure games obtained through emulation, rather than what is currently popular or topical. Combined with an almost gonzo journalism writing style, the unique approach garnered the site a cult following which it still has to this day, four years after regular updates ceased. The site's name is a joking reference to the Palladium role-playing game Heroes Unlimited.

Related Topics:
Videogame - Humor - Website - Zartan - Emulation - Gonzo journalism - Cult - Palladium - Heroes Unlimited

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The site originated when Zartan got a scanner (as a redundancy package) and used it to create an online showcase of things that showed a distinct lack of effort. This was eventually hosted by OverClocked and continued to be updated until it was abandoned for personal reasons in July of 2000. However, the site's fans refused to let it die; They put up a mirror and expanded upon original content, creating the Bastard Sons of Zeroes Unlimited. BSOZU was updated sporadically, and included some new content by Zartan, but eventually ran out of steam. The URL now redirects you to Zeroes' current incarnation, which contains all the content generated so far, as well as Zartan's other writing. This new "official" Zeroes page is at http://zer-un.199x.net.

Related Topics:
Scanner - July - Fans - Mirror - URL

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Zeroes Unlimited has been responsible for unearthing obscure games that would otherwise have remained undocumented. The most famous examples are:

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

• Monkey Donkey, a badly-coded Donkey Kong bootleg. The character of Monkey Donkey eventually went on to become the site's mascot, where he was portrayed as dangerous alcoholic.
• Hangly Man, a Pac-Man bootleg which is harder than the original. It formed the foundation of a kind of philosophy, since a person who chooses to play Hangly Man rather than Pac Man is not simply making an arbitrary choice; they are demanding more from life and refusing to take the easy way out. It was later discovered that the word "Hangly" is the result of transcribing the English word "hungry" into Japanese and then poorly transliterating the result back into the Latin alphabet.
• I'm Sorry, a bizarre game similar in concept to Pac Man, only the playable character is a Japanese politician who must avoid BDSM-fixated secret service agents (and a barrel), whilst collecting money and returning it to his mansion. Notable for its eclectic enemies, which include a speedo-clad jogger who bodyslams you, a Michael Jackson lookalike who tears out your spine while his eyes glow green, an athelete who may or may not be Brian Boitano, and a golem resembling the player character who tries to crush you.
• Mega Crap a hacked version of Megaman V. Like most ROM Hacks, it's filled with homophobic attempts at humour, but has become popular becuase of its poor quality. The prologue begins with "A VICIOUS ARMY OF GAYBOS IS BENT ON DESTROYING YOUR DICK", and then manages to misspell "bullshit"; The weapons include the "Crap Ye" and the "Runchjit", while the enemies have names like "Homoman" and "Grabme, Man". It is apparently "Licensed by Brian".
• Dungeons of the Unforgiven, a first person RPG made by "MoraffWare" in which you fight rainbow-coloured garbage cans and "Lesdidian Warriors".
• Violence Fight, an arcade fighting game in which two ugly middle-aged men beat each other up. The game claims it is a recreation of a clandestine Fight Club-style society from the early 50s, which would make most of the characters in their early teens at best if their profiles are to be believed. It contains comic book-style sound effects like "GOON", "DOGON" and "BOGOON".

The website also adopted "escort for all occasions" Winston Liu as another mascot, and posted a regular "Advice from Winston" page, consisting of helpful proverbs taken from Winston's site.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 
Zeroes Unlimited: External links ►