The Mirror Crack'd

The Mirror Crack'd is a 1980 feature motion picture directed by Guy Hamilton boasting an all-star cast, Angela Lansbury, Geraldine Chaplin, Tony Curtis, Edward Fox, Rock Hudson, Kim Novak, and Elizabeth Taylor, with Wendy Morgan, Maureen Bennett, and Charles Lloyd Pack.

Quotes

• Lola: (to Jason) "My Svengali!"
• Lola: "I could eat a can of Kodak and PUKE a better picture!"
• Vicar: (played by Pack) "Oh, Mr. Rudd, I understand that you are a fillum producer."
• Jason: "Oh, no, sir. A director."
• Vicar: "Is there any difference?"
• Jason: "Yes, sir. The, uh, producer supplies all the money; the director spends it. Then the producer yells that the director is spending too much money; the director doesn't pay any attention, and goes right on spending. The director gets all the credit; the producer gets an ulcer. You see, it's all very simple. Excuse me.
• Lola: "You seem lovely, as always. Of course, there are fewer lights on than usual. In fact, any fewer and I'd need a seeing-eye dog."
• "Marina: "Oh, I shouldn't bother to buy one, dear. In that wig, you could play Lassie."
• Lola: "Same adorable sense of humor. And I'm so glad to see that you've not only kept your GORGEOUS figure, but you've added SOOOO MUCH to it!"
• Marina: "What are you doing here so early, dear? I thought the plastic surgery seminar was in Switzerland."
• Lola: "Actually, darling, I couldn't wait to begin our little movie. You know the saying: once an actress, always an actress."
• Marina: "Oh, I do know the saying. But what does it have to do with you?"
• Lola: "Cute angel. So, do tell. How does it feel to be back, after being away SO LONG?"
• Lola: "Chin up, darling... Both of them!"
• Marina: "Lola, dear, you know, there are really only two things I dislike about you."
• Lola: "Really? What are they?"
• Marina: "Your face."
• Marty: (forgetting he is in England and picking up the phone) "Get me the Coast.... What do you mean, what coast?"
• Marina: (to Lola) "What are you supposed to be, a birthday cake? Too bad everybody's HAD a piece."
• Marina: (looking in the mirror) "Bags, bags, go away. Come right back on Doris Day."
• Inspector Craddock (speaking of Marina and Lola) "I heard the two of them are close. Is that true?"
• Ella: "Close? If you put the two of them together in a tank with a shark, the shark would have an identity crisis."
• Ella: "Marty Fenn's a producer. He only lies when he speaks."
• Inspector Craddock: (to Jason) "I'm sure you'll make a fine film without the aid of Scotland Yard. I'm here about a minor matter of murder."