Sarah Silverman

Sarah Silverman (born December 2, 1970 in Bedford, New Hampshire, USA) is an actress, a stand-up comedian, and a writer.

Silverman Gags

• ?I dated a guy who was half-black, but he dumped me because I?m such a loser. Wow, I shouldn?t say things like that, I?m such a pessimist? he's actually half-white.?
• "A couple nights ago, I was licking jelly off my boyfriend's penis. And I thought, Oh, my God--I'm turning into my mother!"
• "I saw my father naked once. But it was okay, because I was soooo young . . . and sooo drunk."
• "I'm suing my boss for sexual harrassment. And it's real hard, and a big strain on me. Because he hasn't done anything."
• "I buy water at the liquor store across the street from where I live. So I'm walking into the door, and standing, loitering, outside the door is a man. And I walk by him to go in, and he says , 'I want pussy!' Now, I don't want to seem conceited or anything, but he was talking about me!"
• "The writers of "Sanford and Son" were so brave in bringing their program to television. I mean, working with all those black people!"
• "I want to get an abortion. But my boyfriend and I are having trouble conceiving."
• "I was raped by a doctor.... which is so bittersweet for a Jewish girl."
• "I don't care if you think I'm racist. I just want you to think I'm thin."
• "People are always introducing me as "Sarah Silverman, Jewish comedienne." I HATE that! I wish people would see me for who I really am- I'm white!"
• On the US-Iraq war of 2003: "This is not the first time that Europe has been passive while a Jew-hating tyrant with a weird looking mustache killed the people by giving them gas. Obviously I'm talking about Chef Boyardee."