Ron and Fez

The Ron and Fez Show is a national radio show hosted by talk radio duo Ron Bennington and Fez "Marie" Whatley.With a background as professional comedians known for their sharp minds and lightning fast delivery, over their almost twenty year career in talk radio, the Ron and Fez show has evolved and grown, from market to audience to timeslot.

Comedy

Ron and Fez are seasoned comedians who can make being funny and interesting on the radio sound easy. While they seldom rely on old material for laughs, they do know that several of the characters, bits and catchphrases that have developed over the years have become popular with their listeners, and weave and repurpose them into the show when appropriate.

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Characters

• Andre the Giant - Caller claiming to be the late wrestler and actor Andre the Giant. Known for becoming angry and scared at the mentioning of snakes; loves giving his physical stats at a moment's notice.
• Bertha - Whenever "Roxie Carmichael" or "Joey from the Bronx" aren't calling in for Crazy Jen (see below for all), sometimes this large, husky sounding woman will do the trick.
• Bobo The Handyman - Fictional employee of the Whatley family. Was featured in the Fezitorials Fez told of his childhood in Florida. Not to be confused with real life friend of the show "Bobo Golem" (see more).
• Clementine - Real life WJFK sales person, in early 2005 Clementine (see more) also became a popular fictional character for the members of the Ron and Fez family to mock.
• Fez's Fiance - Fez has never taken a bride, but that's not for the lack of game. The never seen or heard from fiance from Niagara Falls, Ontario Canada conveniently could never be reached on the phone whenever Fez's radio partner, Ron, began questioning him on whether or not she even existed. In 2003 Fez and his supposedly lady love finally set a date, but they did not close the deal. In 2004 this bit was retired to make way for "2005 - The Year of Fez Dating."
• Foul Mouth Elmo - Sesame Street puppet who called with a nasty demeanor. Most of his calls would usually be self-censored with "beeps" due to his heavy use of curse words.
• Fred Rogers- During the 2005 "Giant Brian" era of producing R&F, "Fred Rogers" often called in during the "Bad/Awkward Guest" segments, often praising the guests for the little things that he "knew they could."
• Fuzz Whatley - At the urging of long time friend and WJFK uber-sales woman, Julie Follman (more), in 2004 Fez allegedly took in a kitten he named "Fuzz." Oddly enough, this was also about the same time he became the WJFK spokesperson for a national cat food company. Interestingly enough, when the ads stopped running in September 2004, "Fuzz Whatley" stopped being mentioned on the show.
• Jan Brady - The middle daughter of Mike and Carol Brady, there is rarely a topic that is brought up on The Ron and Fez Show that can't be related to Jan's own sad life as a member of "The Brady Bunch." In the summer of 2005, Jan crossed over to The Don and Mike Show when it was rumored that D&M producer, Beth Ann McBride, was going to date "George Glass" - Jan's boyfriend.
• Joe Lieberman - During the 2004 Presidential election, "Joementum" and "Liebermania" was sweeping the country. Whenever a story about this conservative Democrat would be mentioned in the news (usually during "The Fastest Hour in Radio"), suddenly there "Joe Lieberman" was in studio, sounding more like "Droopy Dog" than a distinguished U.S. Senator.
• Joey from the Bronx- In 2005 "Joey from the Bronx" called in several times to plead on the behalf of Crazy Jen (see below) whenever she found herself banned from the show ("Thirty Days In The Hole!") A sexist loud mouth, "he" is in no way related to the real life "Kathleen from the Bronx" (also see more).
• Iris - Raspy voiced elderly woman from Bay Ridge Brooklyn who often complained about the Jewish community who inhabited parts of Brooklyn. Long time member of the Ron and Fez Show, you never know when Iris will call in with her perspective of current events, or her impression of the show, or it's guests. Often the first one on the phones whenever R&F have a "Bad Guest," in 2005 Iris frequently confused the guests with her intriguing questions that often didn't pertain to the subject.
• Kenny Allen - Young boy caller, recognizable by his overly whiney voice. Loved to play games with Ron & Fez and slurped a lot, but often threatened to tell his mother. Had very creative theories about robots. Hasn't been heard from since 2002.
• Later Years Jim Morrison - Very bad impression of Jim Morrison done by Joe Poo started as a Halloween bit.(more).
• Joe Pee - Very young caller who claimed he "drank his own pee" (Joe Pee is a takeoff of Joe Poo's claim that he "ate his own poo").
• Retard Martin - Originally Retard Eddie during the Florida days, Martin was a mentally challenged young man who loved puppies and was tormented by Fez played by Joe Poo.
• The Nature Boy - Wrestler who would drop by the show to give entertainment updates.
• Roxie Carmichael - From Savannah, Georgia, this Southern belle would often call with questions during the bad guest segment in 2005. Roxie made her first appearance at the beginning of 2005 when R&F announced they were getting rid of all the old characters, and had (once again) banned Crazy Jen (more).

Bits

• Comedy Pyramids
• Earth Two
• Spy Reports
• Radio Psychic
• My Dinner With Andre - The Giant
• Your Life's a Movie with Paul O.
• Catty Moments with Fez
• Fez's Open Letters
• Fez's Audio-Diary
• Game Shows
• The Bad Guest
• Hair vs. Hair Match/Head Shaving
• Big Ass Simulcasts
• Fezatorials
• The Fastest Hour
• Fake Guests
• Siren/Toilet Shoutout
• The Power Hour Drinking Games

Catch phrases, Clichés and Drops

• 7'4", 520 pounds, from Grenoble France" - Andre the Giant's tagline; another favorite line: "Snakes!! I hate SNAKES!"
• "And I'm your announcer..." - Phrase used by the announcers to close the introduction segment of the show open. Was used by Joe Poo, Tenacious C, Wonderboy, Mikey D, NM the Remote Producer and others. Mikey D's version was turned into a drop.
• Flair Chops/Neck Slaps - Administered by Ron or Fez to someone (usually an intern or producer) if they lose a bet or screw up. The Flair Chop is from wrestler Ric Flair - it is an open-palm strike delivered to a bare chest in a sweeping motion (like Ric Flair. The Neck Slap is a smack to the back of the neck; Crazy Jen (more) taught them that it hurts more if you wet the palm first.
• Heterosexuality - Is Fez...or isn't Fez? Does it even matter? The debate rages on.
• "Hey!!!!" - Fez Whatley's safety word when surprised by something unexpected. Don and Mike picked this up during commercials and helped make it his identifier.
• "Hoo-Ha" - Drop of Al Pacino from Scent of a Woman, typically played when a caller says his Big Ass card number (see above).
• "HowCanIBeTheManIfYou'reTheMan" - Drop and catchphrase from former WNEW morning man Scott Ferrall. Another audio drop they play of his is "Shake it up."
• "I Could Have Used a Little More Cowbell/I Got a Fever! And the only prescription...is more cowbell!" - Saturday Night Live skit where Bruce Dickinson (Christopher Walken), manager of Blue Oyster Cult in a Behind the Music expose tells the band their songs needs more cowbell. This was played at the start of the show, whenever Foghat is played, and whenever Ron needs to hear a little cowbell.
• "Isolate that!" - Usually yelled out by Ron if Fez makes an innocent statement that would be funnier out of context, usually of a sexual nature. Occasionally Ron will say something that he realizes would be embarrassing if isolated and will yell at the producers or interns that he will be pissed if they "isolate that!" Since they were around when this began, this phrase has been adopted by El Jefe and J. Dubs of The Hideout on their new show in Orlando. Don and Mike have also picked it up.
• "It don't make you a bad person" - Ron's response when someone relates their actions to addictive behavior, usually reserved for alcohol or drug use.
• "Nice Girl, Nice Family... SHE'S A HOOKER!!" - A line from an episode of Kojak that Ron and Fez co-opted and repeat in unison if a woman is mentioned as being "a nice girl."
• "Now I'm starving." - Ron's Pavlovian response to any mention of any food.
• Orange Ball of Failure - Billy Staples (see more) nick name after his stand-up comedy routine bombed. He was wearing an orange t-shirt. "I am at the point in my career where I am above open auditions," "I was a 5 letter man in high school," and "I'm not an actor, I'm a movie star," were some of Billy Staples more memorable show quotes.
• "Radio Psychic - Radio Psychic" - On air bets between Ron and Fez are called "Radio Psychics"; this audio drop is played whenever they make a bet.
• "Red State Update! Red State Update!" - Drop played for conservative or rural callers.
• "Remote Producer" - A listener who does more show-prep than the paid producers, or even the unpaid interns coined by NM the Remote Producer.
• "Rude and Rude!!!" - Early Fez catch-phrase, usually describing someone who was sarcastic to Fez. It was used as a near automatic response if Fez's sexuality was questioned.
• "Sheepy Horn" - The horn from my mother the car later became known as the Sheepy Horn originally played when somebody was calling up for a trivia question and lost. Sheepy (see cast of Ron and Fez Show characters) the young instant feedbacker and poster at Ronfez.net posted a complaint about the sound of the horn and soon after the horn was named after him to rub it in his face.
• Spy Report - Played if a host or caller has breaking news.
• "That's the end of my show... DONK!" - A clip from the Flash cartoon site HomestarRunner.com, in 2004/2005 this was played to indicate the abrupt end of a show.
• "White People Are So Scared...of Black People" - Line from Ani DiFranco's song "Subdivision" is played whenever someone says some sort of racist view on the show - perceived or otherwise.
• "Your Mom's Box" - Opie and Anthony catchphrase meant to be used as the last words before being taken off the air, Ron and Fez appropriated the phrase four times in 2005, at the end of 4 different shows show. The first three times they put the condition "Because you never know..." before it, but on the last WJFK show (July 29, 2005) it was said by everyone in the studio.

Music

Ron and Fez are also known for the eclectic music they use as part of their show opening, closing or the various beds they use coming in and out of commercial breaks. Often times punk, funk, blues, rock or soul, reflecting Ron's personal taste, and occasionally Fez will be allowed to bring in one of his "Best Of" compilations. Often times when remote producers Mikeyboy or Jafter (more) were in studio, they were asked to man the choosing of the bumper music.

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Some of the more noted included:

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• "Battle Without Honor or Humanity" - Tomoyasu Hotei - Music from the first "Kill Bill" trailer, this was immediately used as their opening music.
• "Cruisin' For A Love" - J. Geils Band - 2005's opening theme used in 2005.
• "Cow and Chicken Theme" - From the Cartoon Network series, originally edited to include crowds shouting "RON"!! "FEZ"!!!, "RON and FEZ DOT COM" and eventually the "DOT COM" was dropped.
• "Facts of Life" Theme Song" - A favorite childhood television show for Fez, he and his brother wrote a parody version of the song he can still recite.
• "Happy Birthday to Me" - Cracker - Played during the "Dot Com" days when a listener's birthday was being shouted out.
• "Harper Valley PTA" - Jeannie C. Riley - To divert family arguments, Fez, as a child, would sing this song for his family while shaking his bottom.
• "Mas Que Nada" - Sergio Mendez & Brazil 66 - The song that headed the last hour of the "Dot Com" show.
• "Oddities" - Insane Clown Posse - Originally featured as the theme music for the Oddities stable in the WWE during its "Attitude" era, it was adopted by Ron and Fez as the show opener during the entire WNEW era.
• "Vertigogo" - Combustible Edison - Closing song during some of the WNEW and most of the WJFK days; originally from the movie Four Rooms.

The opening and closing theme music in 2005 received a lot of attention from listeners who were familiar with the speculation that Ron and Fez might be leaving WJFK at some point and heading to satellite radio. Some of this, like the opening choice in January 2005 of the J. Geils Band "Crusin For A Love" (with it's lyric "I'm back on Broadway") turned out to be merely prophetic - listeners in late 2004 knew that Ron had a rediscovery of the J. Geils Band, and that the song and the band was back into rotation months before any legitimate thought of leaving Washington D.C. began. However, when they switched out their closing song for versions of "I Shall Be Released" at the beginning of the summer of '05, it was a clear sign that they were hoping to be out of their contract, which they admitted on their final WJFK show. Also on that final D.C. broadcast: "We Want The Airwaves," "Please Don't Talk About Me When I'm Gone," "Radio, Radio," "So Long Baby Goodbye," and "Satellite of Love, which was their last song played on terrestrial radio.

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