P. J. O'Rourke

Patrick Jake O'Rourke (born November 14, 1947) is an American political satirist, journalist, and writer. Born in Toledo, Ohio, he was educated at Miami University (Ohio) and Johns Hopkins University.

Quotes

• I'm a registered Republican and consider socialism a violation of the American principle that you shouldn't stick your nose in other people's business except to make a buck.
• Neither conservatives nor humorists believe man is good. But left-wingers do.
• A Conservative is a Liberal who has been mugged.
• Politicians are interested in people. Not that this is always a virtue. Fleas are interested in dogs.
• Personally, I believe a rocking hammock, a good cigar, and a tall gin-and-tonic is the way to save the planet.
• Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
• I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a "learning experience." Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've done as a "learning experience." It makes me feel less stupid.
• The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then they get elected and prove it.
• A little government and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them.
• Drugs have taught an entire generation of American kids the metric system.