One-liner joke

A one-liner is a joke that takes to its heart the principle that brevity is the soul of wit. A one-liner, in the strictest sense, is a joke that is delivered in a single line.

Examples

• "Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies."
• Groucho Marx
• "If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised."
• Dorothy Parker
• "She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B."
• Dorothy Parker, speaking of Katharine Hepburn
• 90% of all statistics are made up.
• Anonymous
• "If you don't mind smelling like peanut butter for two or three days, peanut butter is darn good shaving cream."
• Barry Goldwater
• Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
• Anonymous
• Too much sarcasm becomes non-sarcasm.
• Anonymous
• We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
• Anonymous
• "Take my wife. Please."
• Henny Youngman -known as the "King of the One-Liner."
• It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.
• A Jack Handey "Deep Thought"
• "Politicians are like bananas: they start off green, then they turn yellow, then they become rotten."
• Anonymous
• "There are three kinds of people; those who can count and those who cannot." (best delivered holding four fingers)
• Anonymous
• "Never date a tennis player; to them love means nothing."
• Anonymous
• "Politics is made up of two words: "Poli," which is Greek for "many," and "tics," which are bloodsucking insects."
• Gore Vidal
• "I have nothing to declare except my genius."
• Oscar Wilde, upon arriving at US customs 1882.
• "A window of opportunity for me usually involves a rock."
• Jay London