Mitch Hedberg

Mitch Hedberg (February 24, 1968 – March 30, 2005) was an American stand-up comedian known for his odd subject matter, subdued delivery and memorable routines that often consisted of a string of one-line non sequiturs.

Quotes

"If you're flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit."

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"An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You would never see an 'Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order' sign, just 'Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience.'"

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"Alcoholism is a disease, but it's the only one you can get yelled at for having. Damn it Otto, you're an alcoholic. Damn it Otto, you have Lupus... one of those two doesn't sound right."

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