Masturbation

Masturbation is the manual excitation of the sexual organs, most often to the point of orgasm. It can refer to excitation either by oneself or by another (see mutual masturbation), but commonly refers to such activities performed alone. It is part of a larger set of activities known as autoeroticism, which also includes the use of sex toys and non-genital stimulation. There are also masturbation machines used to simulate intercourse. Masturbation and sexual intercourse are the two most common sexual practices, but they are not mutually-exclusive (for example many people find the sight of their partner masturbating highly erotic). Some people are able to achieve orgasm only by masturbation and not by sexual intercourse. In the animal kingdom, masturbation has been observed in many mammalian species, both in the wild and in captivity.

Humour and masturbation

Masturbation, mainly male masturbation, has long been the subject of humour. Even in the early Twentieth Century, Mail Pouch Tobacco advertisements in some cases featured a boy baby reaching into his diaper, with the caption, "He's found his mail pouch."

Related Topics:
Humour - Twentieth Century - Mail Pouch

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In 1879, Mark Twain gave a humorous talk at the Stomach Club in Paris entitled Some Thoughts on the Science of Onanism, which concluded with the thought "If you must gamble your lives sexually, don't play a lone hand too much." This talk was not published until 1943.

Related Topics:
1879 - Mark Twain

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Some famous wits have commented on masturbation, as in P. J. O'Rourke's quote: "Sophisticated persons masturbate without compunction. They do it for reasons of health, privacy, thrift and because of the remarkable perfection of invisible partners."

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Woody Allen, in the film Annie Hall, asserts "Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with somebody I love!" Also, in the film Love and Death, Woody has a wild off-screen, 5-minute encounter with a princess; she tells him, "You are a great lover!" and he answers, "Well, I've done a lot of practicing on my own!" In Hannah and Her Sisters, Mia Farrow's character suggests that their inability to conceive may be a result of Woody's excessive masturbation, to which Woody responds, "now you're gonna start knocking my hobbies?"

Related Topics:
Woody Allen - Annie Hall - Love and Death - Hannah and Her Sisters - Mia Farrow

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According to one biography, Allen Ginsberg came up with the idea for his celebrated poem "Howl" while masturbating with a broom.

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Dorothy Parker reportedly said she had a parrot she named "Onan" because it was always "spilling its seed".

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Humorous songs have been written about masturbation, such as Chuck Berry's hit song, "My Ding-a-Ling". This song has no sexually explicit lyrics, but is clearly intended as a double entendre: "This here song / it ain't so bad / the cutest little song / you ever had / Those of you / who will not sing / you must be playin' / with your own ding-a-ling!" It was in Berry's playlist for years, but was not committed to vinyl until 1972, whereupon it shot to number 1 on the Billboard chart.

Related Topics:
Chuck Berry - My Ding-a-Ling - Double entendre - 1972 - Billboard

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Some other musical references to masturbation are the song "Turning Japanese" by the Vapors, "I Touch Myself" by Divinyls, sung in one of the final scenes in '; the Cyndi Lauper song "She Bop"; "The Sun and the Rain" by the British ska band Madness (according to sleeve notes); Frankie Goes to Hollywood's song "Relax"; (allegedly) Devo's song "Whip it"; Green Day's song "Longview"; and the 1970s disco song "Imaginary Lover" by Atlanta Rhythm Section. On the Oscar-winning Purple Rain soundtrack, Prince sings "I knew a girl named Nikki/I guess you could say she was a sex fiend/I met her in a hotel lobby masturbating with a magazine." in his song "Darling Nikki." This upset future Second Lady Tipper Gore. In 1990, rap group Digital Underground releasted "Sex Packets." The title track concerns a pill that will give men a sexual fantasy. The rapper states, "No more will I ever have to jack it/ 'Cuz instead, I can just take a packet." One of Billy Joel's early tunes, "Captain Jack", contains the line "Your sister's gone out / she's on a date / and you just sit at home / and masturbate." Jackson Brown's song "Rosie" is written from the perspective of a rock & roll roadie who always loses the girl to a member of the band but finds solace by singing, "looks like it's me and you again tonight, Rosie..."

Related Topics:
Divinyls - Cyndi Lauper - Madness - Frankie Goes to Hollywood - Devo - Atlanta Rhythm Section - Oscar - Purple Rain - Prince - Tipper Gore - Digital Underground - Billy Joel

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There are much older songs on the subject, including this old parody on a classic operatic tune (sing to the tune of "Funiculì, funiculà"):

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:Last night, I lay my head upon my pillow,

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:But stayed up late, to masturbate.

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:Last night, I lay myself upon my bed, but

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:I stayed awake, for pleasure's sake.

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:You should see me working on the short strokes,

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:It's really grand, I use my hand;

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:You should see me working on the long strokes,

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:It's really neat, I use my feet.

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:Smash it! Bash it! Pound it on the floor!

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:Smite it! Bite it! Ram it through the door!

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:Oh, it's so neat to beat your meat while sitting on the toilet seat,

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:Isn't life divine,

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:Funiculì, funiculà.

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In recent years, there have been many masturbation jokes in movies, such as in American Pie, where the pie (more or less of the title) is used as a masturbation object to generate humour. A famous scene in There's Something About Mary has Ben Stiller "cleaning the pipes" before a big date to calm his nerves.

Related Topics:
Movie - American Pie - There's Something About Mary - Ben Stiller

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One of the most famous discussions about masturbation by popular culture was done on the television show Seinfeld. In it, the four main characters made a bet as to which one could go the longest without masturbating. The episode coined the phrase "master of your domain" to refer to a person who can resist the temptation to masturbate. This episode also wound up winning an Emmy award.

Related Topics:
Seinfeld - Master of your domain

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The apparently addictive nature of masturbation has also been the subject of humour. Lenny Bruce, who was well-acquainted with addictions, had this bit of advice: "If you're going to stop masturbating, you can't 'taper off'. You've got to quit, cold jerky!"

Related Topics:
Lenny Bruce - Cold jerky

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