Maiden name

A "maiden name" is the family name carried by a woman before any of her marriages. A maiden name may be indicated using the word "née" (pronounced as either "nay" or "nee"), from the French for "born", hence Margaret Hilda Thatcher née Roberts.

Maiden name marriage customs

Using a husband's surname

In English speaking countries, there is a strong tradition of a woman using her husband's surname after marriage to him, although this was never legally required except in a couple of states in the U.S. All the children of the marriage are then given their father's surname, so that the mother's surname is not used by any of her descendents. Some areas have a custom of using the mother's maiden name as a given name for one of the children.

Related Topics:
English - Surname - Descendents - Given name

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This practice means that women inherit their surname from their father, and change it to match their husband's. This has been criticised for a number of reasons: it can be construed as meaning the woman's father and then husband had control over her body and "brand" her with their names to signify that control; and it means that lines of male descent are seen as primary, that a woman has no inherited name tying her to her female ancestors.

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The term "maiden name" itself has been criticised by many American feminists since the 1970s. Those who find the traditional term unacceptable and even offensive say it demeans women by labeling them according to their sexual status, "maiden" (being a synonym for "virgin"), and see this as a further sign of a maiden name being used to label a woman as sexual property of a man.

Related Topics:
American - Feminists - 1970s - Maiden - Virgin

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Using a maiden name after marriage

A minority of women in English speaking countries choose to use their maiden name after marriage in one of a number of ways: either simply continuing to use it as their surname, or using it as part of their name in conjunction with their husband's surname.

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Women who keep their own surname after marriage may choose to do so for a number of reasons. Objecting to the use of their husband's name for the feminist reasons above is one such reason, but there are others which may justify keeping their own name. Some women dislike undergoing the extensive difficulties required in a legal name change. This process is expediated somewhat for newly married women in that their marriage certificate in combination with identification using their maiden name is usually sufficient evidence of the change, but the process still requires approaching every contact who uses the old name and asking them to use the new. Other women simply prefer their own surname to that of their husband.

Related Topics:
Feminist - Marriage certificate - Identification

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Since this practice is in the minority, a woman retaining her surname after marriage may encounter difficulties with having people correctly use her name, or in some cases recognising her marriage. Many people who know of the marriage will simply assume that she has the same surname as her husband and will use that name to introduce her and address her. Alternatively, people who are aware that she and her husband have different surnames may not realise that they are married.

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Some women may retain use of their own surname under particular circumstances, and use their husband's surname in others. This is particularly common among women who have a professional career in which advancement depends on work associated with their name, such as an academic career. These women do not want to risk having their pre-marriage work no longer associated with them and may use their maiden name as their surname in professional dealings but use their husband's surname in social contexts. The American suffragist and abolitionist Lucy Stone (1818–1893), wife of Henry Brown Blackwell, made a national issue of the practice of taking a husband's surname as part of her efforts for women's rights in the U.S., and women who choose not to use their husbands' surnames have been called "Lucy Stoners" ever since.

Related Topics:
Academic - Lucy Stone - 1818 - 1893 - Henry Brown Blackwell

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In the US it has become more common for women to take their husband's name but put it before their birth name—for example "Kate Luyten" marries "John Smith" and becomes "Kate Smith Luyten" or "Kate Smith-Luyten." Sometimes both husband and wife will adopt a hyphenated name consisting of both surnames. Some women use their maiden name as a middle name (perhaps dropping their birth middle name) and use their husband's surname as their own. This practice is virtually unknown in the United Kingdom, however.

Related Topics:
Hyphen - United Kingdom

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Most versions of the practice of women having a different surname from their husband are criticised on the basis of the possible effect on the couple's potential children. The practice is criticised as demonstrating insufficient commitment to forming a new family together, and as exposing any children of the marriage to confusion and teasing about their parent's marital status. In addition, the couple face an additional problem about the choice of their own children's surname. Various alternatives are used:

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• most commonly, children are given the surname of one parent, usually the father's;
• female children are given the mother's surname, and male children the father's; or
• children are given the hyphenated surname consisting of their mother's and father's surname.

This last practice is criticised because it defers the difficulty to the next generation, who have the surnames of all four grandparents to combine into a surname for their own children. One solution some couples have used when both spouses had hyphenated last names is for the wife to contribute her mother's name and the husband his father's to form a new hyphenated last name for themselves and their children.

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A less common, but growing, alternative is for the married couple to create a new non-hyphenated name. This name may be a combination of letters from both surnames or it may be a new name altogether. This allows any children following on to have the same name and is equal in that both parties must give up their original surname. One possible criticism against this practice is that it makes families harder to trace via genealogy. In many countries, including the United States, a legal record must be filed in order to make this name change, which reduces the level of added difficulty.

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