Love

: For the 1960s band, see Love. The term is also used in tennis.

Scientific models

Biological models of love tend to see it as a mammalian drive, just like hunger or thirst. Psychology sees love as more of a social and cultural phenomenon. There are probably elements of truth in both views — certainly love is influenced by hormones (such as oxytocin) and pheromones, and how people think and behave in love is influenced by their conceptions of love.

Related Topics:
Hunger - Thirst - Hormone - Oxytocin - Pheromone

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Attraction and attachment

The conventional view in biology is that there are two major drives in love — sexual attraction and attachment. Attachment between adults is presumed to work on the same principles that lead an infant to become attached to its mother.

Related Topics:
Biology - Sexual attraction - Attachment

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Companionate vs. passionate

The traditional psychological view sees love as being a combination of companionate love and passionate love. Passionate love is intense longing, and is often accompanied by physiological arousal (shortness of breath, rapid heart rate). Companionate love is affection and a feeling of intimacy not accompanied by physiological arousal.

Related Topics:
Companionate love - Passionate love - Physiological arousal

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Sternberg's Triangular Theory of Love

In the triangular theory of love, love is characterized by three elements: intimacy, passion and commitment. Each of these elements can be present in a relationship, producing the following combinations:

Related Topics:
Triangular theory of love - Intimacy - Passion - Commitment

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

• Liking includes only one of the love components - intimacy. In this case, liking is not used in a trivial sense. Sternberg says that this intimate liking characterizes true friendships, in which a person feels a bondedness, a warmth, and a closeness with another but not intense passion or long-term commitment.
• Infatuated love consists solely of passion and is often what is felt as "love at first sight." But without the intimacy and the commitment components of love, infatuated love may disappear suddenly.
• Empty love consists of the commitment component without intimacy or passion. Sometimes, a stronger love deteriorates into empty love, in which the commitment remains, but the intimacy and passion have died. In cultures in which arranged marriages are common, relationships often begin as empty love.
• Romantic love is a combination of intimacy and passion. Romantic lovers are bonded emotionally (as in liking) and physically through passionate arousal.
• Companionate love consists of intimacy and commitment. This type of love is often found in marriages in which the passion has gone out of the relationship, but a deep affection and commitment remain.
• Fatuous love has the passion and the commitment components but not the intimacy component. This type of love can be exemplified by a whirlwind courtship and marriage in which a commitment is motivated largely by passion, without the stabilizing influence of intimacy.
• Consummate love is the only type of love that includes all three components--intimacy, passion and commitment. Consummate love is the most complete form of love, and it represents the ideal love relationship for which many people strive but which apparently few achieve. Sternberg cautions that maintaining a consummate love may be even harder than achieving it. He stresses the importance of translating the components of love into action. "Without expression," he warns, "even the greatest of loves can die" (1987, p.341).

Love styles

Susan Hendrick and Clyde Hendrick developed a Loves Attitude Scale based on John Alan Lee's theory called Love styles. Lee identified six basic theories that people use in their interpersonal relationships:

Related Topics:
Susan Hendrick - Love styles

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

• Eros — a passionate physical love based on physical appearance
• Ludus — love is played as a game; love is playful
• Storge — an affectionate love that slowly develops, based on similarity
• Pragma — pragmatic love
• Mania — highly emotional love; unstable; the stereotype of romantic love
• Agape — selfless altruistic love; spiritual

Hendrick and Hendrick found men tend to be more ludic and manic, whereas women tend to be storgic and pragmatic. Relationships based on similar love styles were found to last longer.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Phases

Helen Fisher suggests three main phases of love: lust, attraction, and attachment. Generally love will start off in the lust phase, strong in passion but weak in the other elements. The primary motivator at this stage is the basic sexual instinct. Appearance, smells, and other similar factors play a decisive role in screening potential mates. However, as time passes, the other elements may grow and passion may shrink — this depends upon the individual. So what starts as infatuation or empty love may well develop into one of the fuller types of love. At the attraction stage the person concentrates their affection on a single mate and fidelity becomes important.

Related Topics:
Helen Fisher - Lust - Attraction

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Likewise, when a person has known a loved one for a long time, they develop a deeper attachment to their partner. According to current scientific understanding of love, this transition from the attraction to the attachment phase usually happens in about 30 months. After that time, the passion fades, changing love from consummate to companionate, or from romantic love to liking.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Love vs. Insanity?

Studies have shown that mental scans of those in love show a striking resemblance to those with a mental illness. Love creates activity in the same area of the brain that hunger, thirst, and drug cravings create activity in. New love, therefore, could possibly be more physical than emotional (though drawing a clear line between physical and emotional is difficult when discussing the brain).

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Over time, this reaction to love mellows, & different areas of the brain are activated, primarily ones involving long-term commitments.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Dr. Andrew Newberg, a neuroscientist, suggests that this reaction to love is so similar to that of drugs because without love, humanity would die out.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~