Jealousy

Jealousy is an emotion experienced by one who perceives that another person is giving something that s/he wants (typically attention, love, or affection) to a third party. For example, a child will likely become jealous when her parent gives sweets to a sibling but not to her. While the child's jealousy might be assuaged if she also received candy from the parent, such is typically not the case for a jealous lover, who wants the beloved to give some kinds of attention exclusively to his or her self. A child may also feel very jealous if his sibling is invited to a party but he is not invited.

Social psychology

[[Image:936H.JPG|left|thumb|300px|Love Letter from a Rival A kagema (Japanese person|Japanese kabuki actor, doubling here as a sex worker) throws a jealous fit on discovering his samurai boyfriend with a love letter from another.

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Miyagawa Isshô, ca. 1750; Panel from a series of ten, on a shunga-style painted hand scroll (kakemono-e); sumi, color and gofun on silk. Private collection.]]The incidence of jealousy and the types of situations that give rise to jealousy vary markedly across societies. Margaret Mead reports a number of societies in which a man would offer his wife or daughter to others for sexual purposes, as well as cases in which "first wives" in polygamous societies would welcome additional wives as enhancing their prestige and lightening their work. She contrasts the Dobuans, whose lives were dominated by jealous guardianship of everything from wives to yams, with the Samoans, among whom jealousy was rare.

Related Topics:
Miyagawa Isshô - Shunga - Margaret Mead - Polygamous - Dobua - Samoa

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It seems probable that her attribution of these striking differences to social arrangements is correct. Stearns similarly notes that the social history of jealousy among Americans shows a near absence of jealousy in the eighteenth century, when marriages were arranged by parents and close community supervision all but precluded extramarital affairs. As these social arrangements were gradually supplanted by the practice of dating several potential partners before marriage and by more fluid and anonymous living arrangements, jealousy as a social phenomenon correspondingly increased.

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By the late 1960s and the 1970s, jealousy -- particularly sexual jealousy -- had come to be seen as both irrational and shameful in some quarters, particularly among advocates of free love. Advocates and practitioners of non-exclusive sexual relationships, believing that they ought not to be jealous, sought to banish or deny jealous reactions to their partners' sexual involvement with others. Many found this unexpectedly difficult, though for others, conscious blocking of the jealous reaction is relatively easy from the start, and over time the reaction can be effectively extinguished. Some studies suggest that jealousy may be reduced in multilateral relationships where there is a clear hierarchy of relationships or where expectations are otherwise fixed. (See Smith and Smith, Beyond Monogamy.) Contemporary practitioners of what is now called polyamory (multiple intimate relationships) for the most part treat jealousy as an inevitable problem, best handled by accommodation and communication. In mainstream society, although jealousy still carries connotations of insecurity, there is a greater tendency to accept it as a normal and expected reaction to a relationship threat.

Related Topics:
1960s - 1970s - Free love - Polyamory

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