George Costanza

George Louis Costanza is a fictional character on the U.S. television sitcom Seinfeld (1989–1998), played by Jason Alexander.

George Costanza moments

• Betraying his feelings of "restrained jubilation" to the doctor who gives him the news that his bride-to-be has died.
• Peeking at the information on a video store's computer screen to find out who has checked out the video for Breakfast at Tiffany's, then showing up at that family's apartment and finagling his way in, so he can avoid reading the book for his book club. The effort backfires when he spills grape juice on the family's sofa and gets kicked out before he can finish watching the movie.
• Being mistaken for a Neo-Nazi leader when he takes a limousine that he believes is for four passes to a Bulls-Knicks game at Madison Square Garden.
• Taking up smoking so that Susan would call off the wedding, but the cigarettes caused him to cough and vomit.
• Inventing a fictitious company named "Vandelay Industries" where he said he had a job interview, in order to keep getting his unemployment benefits. The company was run by the fictitious Art Vandelay. Vandelay Industries is, according to George, a latex manufacturing company. In order to add legitimacy to the company's existence, George gives Jerry's home phone number as the company's phone number. Art Vandelay was also an importer/exporter as well as an architect. The judge in the final episode of the series was named Art Vandelay, which George interpreted as a "good sign."
• Passing an incomplete IQ test through an open window to Elaine in order to cheat on it, all with his one-time girlfriend on the other side of the door. He did this so she'd think he was smarter than he really was. Elaine ends up getting a worse score than George would have if he hadn't cheated due to distractions while at Babu's restaurant (although she later scored 151).
• Proposing an incestuous sexual relationship with his cousin to get his parents' attention, which she agreed to, and they briefly participated in.
• Wearing Kramer's father's wedding band to get women to flirt with him (the conjecture being that women were more attracted to married men). The theory worked perfectly, but all the women were offended when George flirted back.
• Telling Susan that he was meeting Elaine to discuss problems about her (made-up) boyfriend Art Vandelay when he actually was meeting Marisa Tomei. George and Elaine failed to fully develop the alibi, and Susan suspected George was having an affair with Elaine.
• Calling Marisa Tomei on the eve of Susan's funeral to arrange a date: "I got the funeral tomorrow but... my weekend is pretty wide open."
• Attempting multiple times to pass off a red-dotted cashmere sweater which he bought at a discount. Eventually, even one of Elaine's alcoholic coworkers sees the dot.
• Leaving his car parked at Yankee Stadium so that George Steinbrenner would think he was there working even when he wasn't. Other escapades while at the Yankees included: turning the space underneath his desk into an area suitable for napping, pretending to be stressed in order to avoid work, and masquerading as a Communist in order to date a woman whose personal ad appeared in the Daily Worker newspaper.
• Getting ensconced or draped in velvet.
• Buying a car solely on the belief that it was once owned by Jon Voight (it was actually owned by the dentist "John Voight").
• Faking a disability so that he could get his own private bathroom at work.
• During a fire that had been started accidently at a child's birthday party, George ran across the house, pushing and knocking everyone and everything in his path, screaming fire as he ran to the door. Then once he got out, he held the door closed, trapping the people inside. When asked by a firefighter how he could live with himself, George responded "It's not easy."
• Trying to get money back for a book he brought into a bookstore bathroom. He was forced to pay for it, because the book was "flagged" at all the area bookstores.
• Recording an out-going answering machine message, and singing it to the tune of the hit song "Believe it or Not" (from The Greatest American Hero). He sung:

::Believe it or not, George isn't at home

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

::Please leave a message at the beep.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

::I must be out or I'd pick up the phone

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

::Where could I be?

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

::Believe it or not, I'm not home.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

• Trying to get the Frogger game to his house from Mario's Pizzeria, where he and Jerry frequented when they were younger. The game is running on batteries, because George wants to preserve his all-time high score on the console (the high scores would be erased were the machine to lose power). Unfortunately, while George tries in vain to get the console to the other side of the street after performing a series of maneuvers resembling the game itself, a truck destroys the machine, after which Jerry remarks, "Game over."
• Continuing to use the name Art Vandelay until the show's final episode, when a judge by that name presides over the trial of the "New York Four," in which the defendants broke the Good Samaritan Law in the fictional town of Latham, Massachusetts. Jerry and George take it as a sign that they will be acquitted, but after a swarm of previous guest characters (from Marla the Virgin to the parents of Susan Ross) testify against the four friends, Judge Vandelay sentences George, Jerry, Kramer, and Elaine to one year removed from society.
• Demanding that an area hospital pay for his damaged car after a man committed suicide by jumping off the hospital roof and landing on George's car.
• Trying to convert to Latvian Orthodoxy in order to keep a girlfriend. George tells the priest that the reason for his conversion was the nice hats worn by the clergy.
• Pretending to have poor eyesight so that he could get a certain textbook on tape, his reasoning being that whenever he reads a book he hears his own voice reading the words. But when he gets the tape, he realizes the narrator sounds like him.
• Developing back problems because of his oversized wallet. The wallet finally explodes out in the street.
• Competing for an apartment with an SS Andrea Doria survivor by telling the board about his horrifying life. He loses the apartment to a boyfriend of Elaine's who bribes the building superintendant with $50.
• Working briefly as a hand model before he burned his hands on an iron.
• Agreeing to play Trivial Pursuit with Donald the Bubble Boy in upstate New York. Got in a fight with Donald when George insisted the answer was "Moops" but Donald said it was "Moors" (the card was a misprint). Susan ended up deflating the Bubble Boy, and George was accused of trying to kill Donald.
• Trying to become friends with a black man to prove to his boss that he was not racist.
• Performing a series of stunts at Yankee Stadium, such as wearing Babe Ruth's jersey, streaking across the field in a body suit (he instead gained popularity with the fans as "Body Suit Man," and wrecking the team's 1996 World Series trophy with his car. He does this in an attempt to make Steinbrenner fire him so he can take a job offer from the New York Mets. In the end, George's boss, Mr. Wilhelm comes in and claims he made George do those things. Wilhelm is thus fired instead, and he is the one hired by the Mets.
• Claiming to have won "the Contest," though in the finale, he admitted to Jerry that he cheated.
• Attending anger management sessions at the request of his friends, but the fact that the coach wanted him to hide his anger angered George too much to continue. Incited a participant at a Rage-aholics meeting by referring to him as a pinhead.
• Asking Elaine to get him a job at Pendant Publishing. Elaine's boss, Mr. Lippman, conducted an impromptu job interview with George, asking him what authors he liked. Pressed for specifics, George mentioned he liked Art Vandelay. According to George, Vandelay was an obscure beatnik writer who wrote Venetian Blinds.
• Crashing a baby shower to confront an ex-girlfriend who threw Bosco on his red shirt during a performance.
• Mistakenly thinking that he impregnated a woman in the episode "The Fixup". This happened because Kramer had given him a defective condom. Referring to his sperm, George yells that "My boys can swim!" but it later turns out that the woman was not pregnant. In an uncharacteristic twist, George was more concerned with the woman's needs and offered to support her no matter what.
• Pitching some new ideas for two other NBC shows while backstage at The Tonight Show. First, George pitches his idea for "the perfect episode of L.A. Law" to Corbin Bernsen, then makes a suggestion to George Wendt that the setting of Cheers be changed because it's "enough with the bar already." Bernsen and Wendt make George the butt of their jokes on the talk show, much to George's dismay.
• Purchasing a Twix bar from the candy machine from a car dealership, only to see the candy get stuck, then losing it to a mechanic who buys another Twix, getting two packages. George then heads to the complaint department demanding an apology, a refund, and for "that man to be fired."
• Being the subject of mockery after a televised tennis tournament showed a shot of him sloppily eating a sundae.
• In an early episode titled "The Suicide," George is talking with a psychic and mentions that he has a brother. Later episodes repeatedly portray George as an only child.