George Costanza

George Louis Costanza is a fictional character on the U.S. television sitcom Seinfeld (1989–1998), played by Jason Alexander.

Famous George Costanza quotes

• "It's not you, it's me."
• "Nobody ever says it's them, not me. If it's anybody, it's me."
• "You're damn right it's me!"
• "I'm disturbed, I'm depressed, I'm inadequate, I've got it all!"
• "I am speechless, I have no speech!"
• "Why do I get pesto? Why do I think I'll like it? I keep trying to like it, like I have to like it. Everybody likes pesto. You walk into a restaurant, that's all you hear: pesto, pesto, pesto. Where was pesto ten years ago?"
• "No, no, I don't think I'm special. My mother always said I'm not special."
• "George is getting upset!"
• "You're killing independent George!!"
• "No one gives us the finger. We're Yankees!"
• "My name is George. I'm unemployed and I live with my parents."
• "You know, we're living in a society!"
• "Lupus? Is it lupus?"
• "Jerry, just remember: It's not a lie if you believe it."
• "I've driven women to lesbianism before but never to a mental institution."
• "My father was a quitter, my grandfather was a quitter, I was raised to give up. It's one of the few things I do well."
• "So, anything to uh, nosh?"
• "Alright, that's it for me, you've been great! Good night, everybody."
• "I can't believe it! I'm a father! I did it! My boys can swim! I can do it! I can do it!"
• "He's beboppin' and scattin' and I'm losing it!"
• "You had to hop. You had to hop on the plane!!!"
• "I was in the pool! I was in the pool!" (referring to his very flacid penis, when spotted nude)
• "It's not my fault. Seinfeld can't drive! How hard is it to follow somebody?"
• "The 'jerk store' called, and they're running out of you!"
• "The life support machine called..."
• "You tell that son of a bitch no Yankee is ever coming to Houston, not as long as you bastards are running things!"
• "Parking in the city is just like sex. Why should I pay for it when, if I apply myself, I might be able to get it for free?"
• "I can't carry a pen, I'm afraid it'll puncture my scrotum."
• "And so, without further ado, I give you... the candy lineup."
• "If you take everything I've accomplished in my life and condense it down to one day, it looks decent!"