Bollocks

"Bollocks" is a slang term meaning (among other things) testicles in British English, but more often used figuratively. It is rarely used in the singular. It has come to mean rubbish or 'Crap' or even used in a similar way to Bullshit, and this usage is international. One of its singular forms is used to describe the malfunction of an operation, or messing up something "Dropping a Bollock".

Related Topics:
Slang - Testicle - British English - Bullshit

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Perhaps the best-known international use of the term in this sense is in the title of a Sex Pistols album. Testimony in a resulting lawsuit over the "obscene" term demonstrated that in Old English the word referred to a priest, and could also be used to mean "nonsense" (see Never Mind the Bollocks, Here's the Sex Pistols for details). This common usage of the word has come to prominence with the phrase "What a load of bollocks".

Related Topics:
Sex Pistols - Never Mind the Bollocks, Here's the Sex Pistols

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Another usage with a positive sense is the dog's bollocks, based on the notion that a dog's bollocks must taste good, as they spend so much time licking them. The expression 'dog's bollocks' is said to derive from the printer's mark of a colon followed by a hyphen :- (With a little imagination, you can see why). Sometimes this is shortened to just "the dog's". "The dog's bollocks" fits in with several rhyming reduplications of positive meaning that were popular during the 1920's ("the bee's knees," "the cat's pyjamas"). More recent expressions that follow the same pattern are "the mutt's nuts" or "the dog's danglies".

Related Topics:
Reduplication - 1920's

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Dog's Bollock Syndrome is used to describe some over-use of technology, for example gratuitous Flash animations in a web page. It derives from the following riddle: "Q: Why do dogs lick their bollocks? A: Because they can". In a technological context, the question could be "Why has the web developer included a three-minute animated intro to this page?", prompting the answer: "Dog's Bollock Syndrome, innit. Because he can".

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A ska band from Atlanta, Georgia uses the Dog's Bollocks as a name for their band. ]

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Bollocks can again be used to mean something good when you're talking about a person or object, "My new car is the bollocks!" or "That new chef down the road, she's the bollocks!". Top bollock is also used in this context, "This beer is top bollock". Used in the plural, top bollocks often refers to women's breasts, "Look at Tracy's top bollocks - you don't get many of those to the pound."

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Bollock head is a British term for a shaven head, but can also, like bollock brain, refer to someone who is intellectually challenged; bollock chops is used to describe someone with a rounded physiognomy; bollock breath is a general term of abuse, possibly - but not necessarily - for someone suffering from halitosis; a bollock buster is a heavy weight that may cause a hernia.

Related Topics:
Physiognomy - Halitosis - Hernia

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A game called "bollocks" exists, in which the players take it in turns to shout the eponymous word. Each shout is required to be louder than the last, starting with a whisper and ending with a full-blooded yell. This is usually played by schoolboys, to whom the idea of shouting a proscribed word in public has something of a risqué appeal. A 'mexican wave bollocks' variation (where the fun is in getting as many other people to shout the word) is often played by over excited chilren away from their parents for the first time in the campsites of British Music Festivals, including Glastonbury, T in The park etc.

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Used in the singular to describe being in the nude: "stark bollock naked". Bollocky is Australian slang for "naked"; in the bollocky-buff is naval slang for the same. Bollock naked, on the other hand, is naval slang for spaghetti bolognese.

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Bollocking refers to a severe telling-off. For example, "The boss gave him a right bollocking." Rollocking is sometimes used in place of bollocking when use of the word could cause offence.

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It is sometimes spelt bollox or bollix, usually by residents of countries other than the British Isles who don't quite understand what it means. Residents of said countries may respond that they consider bollix a separate word which means to make a foolish mistake that detracts from a work in progress: "The project was going well but my boss bollixed it up."

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"Bollix" may also be used to refer to a particularly nasty or awkward person: "he's a right Bollix" .

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Another common usage in Ireland and the UK - "....a right kick in the bollocks" - is used to describe a serious set-back or disappointment. In Ireland, a "kick in the bollocks" is the name of a non-alcoholic cocktail of Red Bull and red lemonade.

Related Topics:
Red Bull - Red lemonade

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Because the word "bollocks" is not generally understood in American english, it was used by one of the subjects in the 2004 "Brat Camp" TV programme in which troubled British teenagers were sent to an American wilderness reformation camp. Participants were forbidden by the camp rules from swearing, but since the supervisors did not recognise "bollocks" as a swear-word one member was able to use it to relieve his frustration with impunity. The programme included a brief segment in which he begged the (British) camera crew not to reveal the meaning of the word to the supervisors.

Related Topics:
American english - 2004

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A related term bolloxed (more rarely: bollocksed) means "bladdered", or "drunk". For example: "We had 12 pints of Stella last night and we was well bolloxed".

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The term "bollocked" refers to getting a good verbal roasting for something one has done incorrectly. i.e. "I didn't do my homework and got a right bollocking of Mr Smith" The term is used frequently in the British Army recruitment process where is is mutually understood if you fuck up then you will get bollocked or get a bollocking - in most cases, these bollockings will be without physical contact but will be a psychological assaulton a person's character, look or act.

Related Topics:
British Army - Fuck up

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The act of talking bollocks whilst waving one's arms about wildly is referred to as testiculation. Talking bollocks in a corporate context is referred to as bollockspeak. Bollockspeak tends to be buzzword-laden and largely content-free. "Rupert, we'll have to leverage our synergies to facilitate a paradigm shift by Q4" is an example of management bollockspeak. People really do talk like this.

Related Topics:
Buzzword - Paradigm shift

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Due to its versatility, bollocks has been called the Swiss Army Knife of andrological profanities.

Related Topics:
Swiss Army Knife - Andrological - Profanities

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