Blackadder

Quotes

This quote, from a scene in "Bells" (Blackadder II), is typical of Blackadder humour:

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:Blackadder: Tell me, young crone, is this Putney?

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:Young Crone: That it be! That it be!

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:Blackadder: ' "Yes it is", not "that it be." You don't have to talk in that stupid voice to me; I'm not a tourist. I seek information about a wise woman.

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:Young Crone: The Wise Woman! The Wise Woman!

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:Blackadder: Yes, the Wise Woman.

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:Young Crone: Two things, my Lord, must ye know of the Wise Woman.

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:Blackadder: Yes?

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:Young Crone: First, she is... a woman!

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:'

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:Young Crone: And second, she is...

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:Blackadder: Wise?

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:Young Crone: You do know 'er, then!

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:Blackadder: No, just a wild stab in the dark, which is incidentally what you'll be getting if you don't start being a bit more helpful. Do you know where she lives?

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:Young Crone: Course!

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:Blackadder: Where?

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:Young Crone: 'Ere. Do you have an appointment?

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:Blackadder: No.

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:Young Crone: Well... you can go in, anyway.

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:Blackadder: Thank you, young crone! Here is a purse of monies. ' Which I'm not going to give to you. '

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The following comes from a scene in "Private Plane" (Blackadder Goes Forth), when Lord Flasheart is beginning lessons on flying a "kite" (slang for airplane).

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:Lord Flasheart: Always treat your plane like you treat your woman.

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:Lieutenant George: What do you mean, sir, take her home at the weekend to meet your mother?

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:Lord Flasheart: No, I mean get inside her five times a day and take her to heaven and back!

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